Coaching, Change, Connection

How will you respond? (3 min read)

“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” – Victor Frankl

 
When people ask about the work I do as a coach they often want to know, “So is everybody different or do people have similar issues?” To which I usually answer, “yes.” Because the experience of being coached is different for each person based on who they are and what they’re working towards. And, the root issue for many people (perhaps for someone reading right now) is this…
 
At some point along the way, people have forgotten that they have a choice.
 

“Between stimulus and response there is a space.”

 
I often meet people at a time when they feel like life is happening to them. They've stopped being the author of their own story and now find themselves seemingly at the mercy of life’s demands. They feel powerless.
 

“In that space is our power to choose our response.”

 
“Our power.” Your power. Whether you’ve forgotten that you have it or its been forever since you’ve used it, it’s still here. Right now. It’s your space to step into at any moment. A moment like this one. You get to CHOOSE your response.
 
A study from the University of Rutgers called “The Inherent Reward of Choice” found that the ability to choose is written into our neurological reward system. Our desire to choose - to exercise some sort of control - is literally in our DNA. How you respond is up to you; you can speak or not, you can take your time or respond quickly, you select the words you choose to say or choose not to say. You choose the tone of your voice and the rate of your speech and your facial expressions and body language. And, this only the beginning…
 

“In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”

 
When folks remember that they have a choice and step into the space between stimulus and response to use their power, amazing things happen! They come alive again. This is true even when “nothing has changed” about their immediate environment.
 
Sometimes the element of choice shows itself in a single word. The difference between, “I have to do _____” and “I want to do _______”,  is often enough to free us from the imprisonment of our daily To-Do’s.

“Between stimulus and response there is a space”...


How will you respond today?

- Thanks for reading and please share with anyone who may have forgotten that they have a choice. May it be of benefit!